Planning!

Well anyone who knows me knows that I am an organized person, this might be putting it mildly! (who am I kidding anal does not even cut it!) Making lists and putting things on one of my many calendars is more of a hobby than anything and brings me great joy. Part of this intense need to plan is the shear delusion in making myself believe that I have some control over what goes on in my life. Many would say that due to the chaotic early childhood I had that this makes perfect sense, however I would have to disagree I would have to label it for what it is SIN. It is totally my sin nature that I was born with kicking in. I worry and do not trust God, I say that I believe he is sovereign and in control of my life. Then my mind goes into overdrive over the simplest things, things that really have no bearing on me or my family in the grand scheme of things. Things that have nothing to do with Gods glory and heaven which I know is the end result of our life here on earth. So now that I once again have been convicted of this I must confess it , repent of it and lay my worries at the foot of my saviors cross who promises in Matthew 11:30 "My yoke is easy and My burden is light". This is not to say that being organized is sin please don't get me wrong. For me the sin comes into play when "plan A" the plan that I have so carefully put together does not fall into place and I then have to go to "plan B" or possibly even to "plan C". This is when the sin comes in. In the way of my attitude and my mood towards others who are there. Or the anger that builds up inside of me due to me not getting my way, throwing a fit inside like a small child wanting to sprawl on the floor fists and feet flailing! Truly this is how I feel when my well laid plans go awry The intensity that I act on these feelings has lessened vastly in the last twenty years but the truth of the matter is that this sin rears its ugly head every now and then and I am faced with dealing with it. It is not pleasant and I do not enjoy it but as one of Gods children the Holy Spirit puts his finger on the areas in my life that are not where he wants them,  this side of heaven there will be many such times in my walk with the Lord. In the light of his perfection I am humbled and want the sin in my life eradicate, so before his throne of grace I fall and pray his forgiveness and that I would be ever mindful of his loving purpose for all the things that happen in my day to day life, because his plan for me is far greater than the one I craft myself! So with this in mind I begin a new year wanting what Christ wants not what I want!